Thursday, 4 September 2014

Today I am grateful.

It's been a ridiculously long time since I've blogged. Plenty has happened. 

Our beautiful little birdy turned three and seems so grown up already. 

My cancer started growing again so we stopped chemo. Which on the up side meant I could finally get a new tattoo, and at the last minute my husband decided to get a matching one. 

We got a puppy called Lady Toto, Lady Toto Tramp Peanut Butter Ears according to little birdie. 

I was accepted then rejected from a clinical trial. And then I started Kadcyla (TDM1), a fancy new drug that I have to pay just over $16,000 for.

A drug that I had no hope of being able to afford a few months ago, but thanks to some wonderful friends who organised a humble raffle, which then spawned a gofundme site, we incredibly managed to raise the full amount needed. Little birdies school even organised a disco to help raise funds too. The generosity of friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers has been so overwhelming and touching that I have often been brought to tears. There are days when I want to forget that I have cancer, days when I wish no one knew, days I wish I had something much better to talk about. Days where I'm worried about buying myself a magazine or flowers for fear of being judged as wasting money when others have donated theirs to help me. But most days I am just grateful for people's compassion, and that I am able to enjoy spending time with little birdie, our puppy, and my incredible husband, who I have had an overwhelming appreciation for lately. We have endured so much over the last seven years, but lately I feel as if it's paid off and resulted in us being stronger than ever. I am so lucky to have a husband that understands me completely, and I him. A partner in life who looks after me and little birdie and always puts us first, who knows what I need, often before I do, and who has made me a better person. Steve, I'm glad we held on, 'for this love will last forever' xx

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