Friday, 14 June 2013

I'm a terrible blogger, but I'm just a bit over cancer.

It's been ages since my last post, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to write a new one. 

After my last chemo (number four) I felt pretty terrible for over a week. I was given the top of the line anti-nausea drugs, since I had a few days of nausea after cycle three, but I ended up feeling horrible. No nausea, but I felt like my brain was fried. I couldn't think properly, was fatigued, I was dizzy on and off for about five days, and felt quite shakey. The last week I have pretty much felt back to normal, but I've just been so over the whole cancer thing that I couldn't even bring myself to look at this blog. And to make me feel especially attractive, my eyelashes and eyebrows seem to slowly be thinning out, my fingernails are getting ridges and feeling sore like they might start lifting, and I've been feeling like a cross between uncle fester and an old gypsy woman. 

Even while I was feeling like this though, it wasn't all bad. I had the wonderful Alicia who came to chemo with me (who i grew up next door to, who is my friend Morgan's mum and is also one of my mums closest friends) come over and spend three days at home with me and little birdie as my parents are away overseas (they're back on Monday, yay!). Every day she brought delicious cakes for morning tea, which was lovely even when i couldn't taste them, she did my washing, tidied my house, cooked for me, and even took little birdie for walks to go shopping or pick me flowers so I could have a rest. I'm not sure how I would have managed if I had been home on my own in that time!

My husband has also been especially amazing over the last few weeks. He came home one night (when i was feeling particularly crappy) with a bunch of roses, chocolates, and my favourite magazine, as well as a card saying how much he appreciates everything i do for him and little birdie even though I'm also dealing with chemo and cancer, and on top of that he told me he booked a weekend away for my birthday (which is 11 days after i finish chemo), but is surprising me with where we are going. He also had four days off over the long weekend and it was lovely. We got to relax, go to the markets, see both of our families, catch up with friends, do much needed work around the house, take little birdie to the park, plus he cooked some beautiful meals for me. 

So now I have six days till my second last chemo and I plan to enjoy every one of them, even though I have a heart scan one day, a follow up with my surgeon the next, and my husband is going away for two days for work. I will catch up with friends, enjoy some wine now that my taste buds are back to normal, and take little birdie on an adventure (not at the same time of course)

Speaking of little birdie, here are some of the adorable things she has done over the past few weeks:

1- While eating jelly the other day, she said 'Mummy. Have some jelly. It's fun! It's fun! It's fun!' When she realised I found it funny, she just kept looking at me and saying 'Its fun! It's fun!' And laughing. 

2- Playing in her bedroom the other morning, I walk in and find her like this. She is apparently painting the roof. 

3- At the markets last weekend she told me she wanted her face painted. I wasn't sure if she would change her mind once she had a stranger putting wet paint on her face but she was wonderful. She sat very still the whole time and was very happy with the finished product. Unfortunately she was not so happy when we had to wash it off that night. 

4- Little birdie has been spending a lot of time on the big toilet now that she is pretty much toilet trained. She loves waving to elmo, who's picture is on her special toilet seat, but what she loves even more is reading a book while on the toilet. We read 'Thats not my kitten' which has been a favourite since she was a baby, and she now knows the whole thing off by heart. She tells me 'it's ears are too soooft', 'It's tongue is too fuzyyyyyy', 'Its nose is too smooooth' 'it's bell is too shiii-neey' and although the storey says its paws are too rough, she tells me 'it's paws are too spongy!' and then giggles.   

5- She has even managed to occasionally be adorable while throwing tantrums. When trying to get her ready for bed one night she refused to get dressed and instead was playing with her new toy coffee machine. I had asked her nicely a few times to come over and get dressed and she simply said 'No!', so my husband told her to come get dressed, to which she yelled 'No! I'm still making a coffee!' As much as we tried not to, my husband and I burst out laughing. 


  1. I had my 4 th 2 weeks ago. It was by far the worst. People don't understand the "fog". You are there but no. Hope you have a good weekend!

    1. So glad to know I'm not the only one! Lets hope 5 and 6 are better for both of us.